Second Chapters–I know them well. The invention and reinvention of your self, each time trying to get life a little more right than the last time. A longing goes with that, an undercurrent that flutters in the heart that one day all of the jagged pieces of your jigsaw puzzled life will somehow make sense, fit together and reveal the big picture. I cannot mark the day that the picture came into focus, or a specific time where I wondered what would happen to me if I just forgave myself? There was not a celebratory realization or enlightenment. No, the process was slow and tedious, painful and sweet. Then one morning as I sat on the couch with my tea, staring into the fire, I realized that I was living the life that I wanted to be living. And somehow the dense forest of sufferings and sorrows, the thickets of doubts that had tripped me up, parted to reveal a light that shone on hard-won satisfaction for the trails that I had traversed with some awkwardness and some grace . . . and I knew that this was my time to dance.
This is the story in all of us as we make our way through the beautiful, horrible, wonder-filled life, longing to dance with our dreams. Revisions aside, I’ve moved onto Chapter 3, the place in the dramatic arch where the heroine has morphed into the warrior and just goes after what she wants, critics be damned. This is how I feel about my writing. Strong. Focused. Determined, with enough juice left in these old bones to make it all happen, or die trying.
It’s daring to dance with a dream. Go ahead. Life is leading you in that direction anyway, so you might as well surrender to it. Every single little thing leads and builds to the great decision when you choose to stand on the mountain and know that you will seize the day.
Happy New Year to all my fellow dreamers, all of my fellow writers. God speed.